everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
