i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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