Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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