Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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