Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
