I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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