I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
