I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
