thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
