I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
