FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
