You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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