She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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