Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
