Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
