3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
