Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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