What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
