I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I intend to get homeless drunk
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
