does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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