last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize