i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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