WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
