he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
