? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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