My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
