next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
