You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
