he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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