Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize