I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think people are normalizing furries
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
