we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
FUCK WHALES
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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