he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize