Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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