Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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