I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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