It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
