I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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