you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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