So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
