Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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