You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
