i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
