The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
