did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
