How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
