CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
