screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
