Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
