I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
