I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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