writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
