I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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