you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
