I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
