the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
