i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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