Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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