I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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