You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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