i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
