This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
