He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
