Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
third nipple confirmed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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