god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
